We're sick of you and this ridiculous cookie law. So here's an ultimatum.

We've taken all our cookies solutions off all our websites. The evil cookies are back, and the pointless slidey warning messages are no more.

We tried. We even wrote an open source solution to the cookie law used by 5,000 sites. But the truth is it's a tragic waste of time.

An evil cookie
A ninja

Presumably we now fly in the face of the law you are sworn to uphold. Please, please do your worst. Send in a team of balaclava-clad ninjas in black hawk helicopters to tickle us to death with feather dusters. Just do something.

Here, we'll help:

Click here to file a complaint against Silktide

But it appears that this law is nothing but hot air. We see companies who might actually be doing something naughty with our privacy – say Google, Amazon or Facebook – get away with nothing more than a cookie privacy link. We see our own government do the same or worse.

We also see users don't give a flying monkey cluck.

Flying monkey

The idea of this law is a noble one, it's just a shame it was drafted by a team of technically illiterate octogenarians who couldn't find a button on a mouse. We have a few suggestions on how to make it better.

Fixing a broken cookie law

If you were to raise a genuine complaint with us, and explain what we're doing wrong we'll listen. And we'll be happy to pass the message on. Otherwise we're now assuming this law belongs in the same pile as other British classics; it's still illegal to die in the houses of Parliament or to eat a mince pie on Christmas.

Hugs and kisses,

Update: The ICO replies!

ICO tweet